Trapped in a flesh vessel.

I sincerely dislike complaining through the medium of Tumblr, but if I don’t vent somehow, I’ll completely lose track of the tiny bits of sanity I have left. Many issues are currently converging and therefore becoming magnified. Those constituent issues are bearable. It’s only when those issues compound into a single chaotic haze, only then does my mental health take an impact.

1st: I’m weening off of an immunosuppressant. Every time I’ve stopped this drug in the past, my body reacts by decimating itself out of commission. Very desperate circumstances caused me to begin a regimen the substance, and now those circumstances are returning.

2nd: For the fifth time, my romantic interest has abandoned me for another partner. Now, I, like most people, have the inherent instinct to tell when two people aren’t meant to be. But this situation is complicated on several levels, and such situational disorganization and naivety on my part has caused a great deal of emotional distress. Heartache isn’t much of an immuno-reinforcer, if you catch my drift.

3rd: This bio-battleground known as my body has already caused school absence, and I fail to see any end to this medical clash. Normally, school absence wouldn’t be significant. But this year is different. Not only is it my senior year, but I’m taking a healthcare program at a specialized facility that greatly emphasizes hands-on learning. I find it very difficult to experience hands-on learning, mostly because my attendance is often impossible. But even when I am in attendance, the only hands available to me are decrepit and unusable.

I do genuinely try hard to resist the association of physical discomfort and mental distress, but my perception of the human condition blatantly displays that the two ideas are intrinsically conflated.